There was a song that I have heard before and the title was "Refiner's Fire". The message of the songs was in order for the glass to be perfect and to be shaped to its perfection, it needs to be heated or under its fire. This is my way of thinking positively with my life right now and my situation. I have bills filing up and I can't seem to make ends meet. I am still constantly stressing when my bills come and it is so hard to experience getting cut off. I am super busy with work, jam packed with things to do and things to plan and worst of all, my dog "Kelly" had to be admitted because we believe he has been infected by the PARVO virus. As they say, when it rains, it pours. I have no idea where to get the money to pay for bills, for Kelly's medical bills etc. My husband has spent a lot for me ever since we got married. I feel so blessed to have him but I am worried that he might see me as a burden.
I wish I can make everything better, I wish I had that gift of being able to see through things but I don't. If I don't feel like doing anything and if my brain runs out of creative things, I literally don't want to do anything.The only thing that I can do right now is pray that God even though I definitely do not deserve it, will forgive me and give me another chance. I am also feeling like I am pregnant and this is a good news if it were true but I am afraid to find out because it is so painful and depressing if it weren't true.And so haven't checked yet.
I am very hopeful that after all of this trials and hardships, I will be able to overcome and stay calm. I am worried about Kelly, my husband, my family and my job. This is one of those days where I really need to think positive because right now, I am between depression and surrender...
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
Day 4 of my Sebastian Bach obsession
It has been 4 days since I became so in love, so inspired until it escalated to obsession. But of course I am just exaggerating.I AM OBSESSED WITH SEBASTIAN BACH! If you would look him up on google on how he looks like now,he is pretty old but not THAT old. He is already in his 40's but man can he still sing! I haven't heard anyone recently who can really belt on singing rock or heavy metal rock nowadays. Unlike in the 80' through the 90's , there were so many rock vocalists who were so effortless in their high notes and screaming style of which they are not actually screaming. Axl rose is a very good example of a phenomenal vocalist of a rock band. But this blog is entirely about sebastian bach, that is his 20's self, not the present I am sorry but not his present self.
I watched all youtube videos that I can find on Sebastian Bach and on Skid Row. And this is the 4th day that I have been playing I Remember You every chance I get. I play it at least a dozen times each day. I love his face,his hair and I am pretty sure I would've loved his smell hahahaha! But most of all I LOVE LOVE LOVE his voice. He sings effortlessly, he has a natural high range that is meant for singing rock. And I also love how he thinks. This might sound weird but I like the way he sees things. He was weird but in a good way. He does not conform and he does not do what people would expect him to do. And by my guess, I think this might be one of the reasons, Skid Row took him out of the band. He has so many ideas in his head and he is not afraid of sharing them. He likes to take risks and believes so much in himself.
I have always dreamed and wondered what it would be like to marry a Rockstar, to be able to watch him perform and after his gig he would hug you and kiss you and everyone will be soooo jealous because he belongs to you and you belong to him. But I would have been a good wife and for sure my "Rockstar" husband would most probably be a cheater. Imagine having tours around the world with groupies hanging around with the band and not only groupies, even fans would show boobs at Rock stars and touch their crotch. My life would have been fun but it would be a recipe for disaster.
I was watching the series that Sebastian and his then wife Maria and 3 kids, she met Sebastian before Skid Row, even before anybody knew his name. They met in a club in Canada and she is 5 years older than him. Maria was not really beautiful but she was sexy and she has big boobs. But I like her because she did what she can and she wasn't after Sebastian's fame or money. All that matters to her was that He loved her.Awww...it would have been nice to have a crazy wild rockstar husband who is so handsome loves you sooo much.
In my dreams I imagine Sebastian as my husband and that we would sing together and I would go with him on his gigs. But I'm not a housewife, I am also a singer of my own band and that we both have our own careers. hahahahaha!That would have been ideal and that life would have been a great adventure!
But I would never change the life that I have now. I am still living a little bit of my old life and I am very fortunate to have a husband who gives me the freedom to be that way sometimes. But I am now way far from who I was before. It was fun and adventurous but it was going nowhere. I am glad I got out but it does not hurt revisiting and reminiscing those memories. But that's what they are now, just memories...Haay see you in my dreams later Bash!;)
I watched all youtube videos that I can find on Sebastian Bach and on Skid Row. And this is the 4th day that I have been playing I Remember You every chance I get. I play it at least a dozen times each day. I love his face,his hair and I am pretty sure I would've loved his smell hahahaha! But most of all I LOVE LOVE LOVE his voice. He sings effortlessly, he has a natural high range that is meant for singing rock. And I also love how he thinks. This might sound weird but I like the way he sees things. He was weird but in a good way. He does not conform and he does not do what people would expect him to do. And by my guess, I think this might be one of the reasons, Skid Row took him out of the band. He has so many ideas in his head and he is not afraid of sharing them. He likes to take risks and believes so much in himself.
I have always dreamed and wondered what it would be like to marry a Rockstar, to be able to watch him perform and after his gig he would hug you and kiss you and everyone will be soooo jealous because he belongs to you and you belong to him. But I would have been a good wife and for sure my "Rockstar" husband would most probably be a cheater. Imagine having tours around the world with groupies hanging around with the band and not only groupies, even fans would show boobs at Rock stars and touch their crotch. My life would have been fun but it would be a recipe for disaster.
I was watching the series that Sebastian and his then wife Maria and 3 kids, she met Sebastian before Skid Row, even before anybody knew his name. They met in a club in Canada and she is 5 years older than him. Maria was not really beautiful but she was sexy and she has big boobs. But I like her because she did what she can and she wasn't after Sebastian's fame or money. All that matters to her was that He loved her.Awww...it would have been nice to have a crazy wild rockstar husband who is so handsome loves you sooo much.
In my dreams I imagine Sebastian as my husband and that we would sing together and I would go with him on his gigs. But I'm not a housewife, I am also a singer of my own band and that we both have our own careers. hahahahaha!That would have been ideal and that life would have been a great adventure!
But I would never change the life that I have now. I am still living a little bit of my old life and I am very fortunate to have a husband who gives me the freedom to be that way sometimes. But I am now way far from who I was before. It was fun and adventurous but it was going nowhere. I am glad I got out but it does not hurt revisiting and reminiscing those memories. But that's what they are now, just memories...Haay see you in my dreams later Bash!;)
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